I took myself for a walk this afternoon because I needed baking soda and it seemed as good an excuse as any to enjoy a brief interval of warm weather before we dip back into our unseasonably chilly spring. Because I am a parody of myself, this led me to the newly gut-renovated Barnes & Noble nearest to me and into the waiting arms of yet more nonfiction, including the book Eve by Cat Bohannon, who now owes me compensation for emotional damages. I finished chapter one of the book, subtitled How the Female Body Drove 200 Million Years of Human Evolution, with an expression of pure, unremitting existential horror on my face because the first 70 pages were about the evolutionary development of lactation and nursing.

So far, I have:

• Written be ungovernable <3 re: “Many researches default to male subjects for practical reasons: it’s difficult to control for the effects of female fertility cycles, particularly in mammals. A complex soup of hormones flood their bodies at regular intervals, whereas males’ sex hormones seem more stable. A good scientific experiment aims to be simple, designed with as few confounding factors as possible.”
• Highlighted in alarmed purple “Your bladder is a workhorse, doing essentially the same job it’s been doing for hundreds of millions of years–keeping the waste products of your many millions of cells’ ongoing metabolism from poisoning you to death. It’s not your bladder’s fault that the mammalian uterus evolved to squat on top of it like Quasimodo.”
• Scrawled I hate this :c about “…We make milk because we used to lay eggs and, weirdly, because we have a long-standing love affair with millions of bacteria.”

This is all from one chapter! The first chapter! From a chapter innocuously titled Milk! The next chapter is titled fucking Womb! I am crossing my legs just thinking about what body horrors Cat Bohannon is going to introduce into my dreams tonight!!

Anyway, great book, 15/10, would read it while hissing, “oh my fucking God” under my breath the whole time again.