Two months into my new job and I want to talk big about how I’ve learned that limiting yourself to three fucks a week about your job is how to succeed at your so-called career, but actually I’ve been working long days and nights to keep my head above water and I’m approaching the work with an earnestness that makes me want to give myself a swirlie.

I am surviving (thumbs up emoji) and I am not thriving (teary eyed emoji).